Grocery Money and the Cares of this World

On Tuesday this week I sat at the computer desk balancing our checking account. It turns out that after this week’s grocery money, instead of having $75 to carry us through till pay day, we only have $56. This is still ok, but it will not make things easy. It means that there will not be a penny to spare and we must hope and pray there are no surprises over the next 9 days.

     Relieved that we will not have to resort to the credit card (the very thing we are trying hard to pay off and thus short on cash), I was still bitter. Tuesday is my shopping day, I take $50 to the Super Walmart and buy groceries for the week ahead. This takes careful planning, keep in mind that it is pretty easy to spend near $50 simply on toilet paper, cleaning supplies and shower stuff, and my money must include food also.

     But this Tuesday I had no interest in careful planning. I was fed up and didn’t want to think about how many different dinners I can prepare with 1 lb of Great Northern Beans or how far I can stretch 4 chicken breasts. I decided to forget shopping and after taking a walk sat down to watch The Aviator (a three hour long movie!).  By the end of my 3 hour sulk I knew it could not be put off any longer. Out came the cook book and I drummed through hoping for inspiration. My final list of dinners was: Chili (4 meals), Corn Chowder (1 meals), Indonesian Chicken and Rice (2 meals), and Ham and Beans (3 meals).

       With my shopping list in hand, I picked up my purse and headed for the door. Although I had done what I was supposed to do, I was not happy about it and definitely let God know. Reaching for the doorknob I clearly heard my Lord say, “Look at what you’re wearing.” Slowly I looked down. Then came the realization that my shirt, shoes and even bra were bought by someone else and given as gifts. The only clothing that I had paid for was my trousers and underwear! I opened the door and headed outside, realizing I was getting into the truck I didn’t pay for and turning on the brand new car radio I didn’t pay for!

     As I backed out of the parking space I repented and began to thank God for all He has provided. Although it might take some creativity, I have never known want. I have never been hungry or without clothes.

     As I am driving my spirit lifts and not only am I thankful, but I feel safe. The Holy Spirit whispers,

 

“See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed as one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field which is here today and tomorrow is thrown in the fire, will He not much more cloth you?”*

 

   It is now Thursday, all the meals have been prepared and put into tubs in the fridge and freezer. We also made peanut butter cookies, banana bread, chocolate mocha cake and crème caramel! The good news is that groceries this week only cost $41, so if we run out of milk or eggs we won’t have to search pockets and scrounge around the car for change. God has truly provided for all our needs and we still have more to share.

     Interestingly, today’s reading in Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest was taken from the very verse in Matthew the Holy Spirit had whispered to my heart on Tuesday. Chambers writes:

 

Jesus asks us to consider that “if God so clothe the grass of the field…” how “much more” will he cloth you, if you keep your relationship right with Him? Every time we lose ground in our fellowship with God, it is because we have disrespectfully thought that we knew better than Jesus Christ. We have allowed the “cares if this world”** to enter in, while forgetting the “much more” of our heavenly Father.

 

  The above words sum up my heart on Tuesday. I had let the “cares of this world” take over and had forgotten the “much more” of my provider and protector. How glad I am though, that Jesus does not simply leave me there, but calls me back and asks me to refocus my mind and heart on Him.

 

*Mat 6:28-30  **Mat 13:22

 

Anisha.

 

Rules for Holy Living

When I read Colossians 3, my heart beats fast and I think to myself, “Yes! This is the way we are supposed to be, this is what my life should look like!” In my zeal I pray, “Make me like this Lord!” and I allow my imagination to conjure images of leading masses of people to Christ and whole nations changed, all because we put aside the messed up version of Christianity and embraced Colossians 3.

     The NIV rightly titles the chapter, Rules for Holy Living. “Set you hearts on things above…..Set your minds on things above…put on your new self which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other…And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…teach and admonish one another…do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

      Then I close my bible, put down my journal, get off the couch and go to work. “Colossians who?” Life hits hard and fast. Within a few hours I forget what I have read and allow my heart and mind to be set on earthly things. The car is rattling again. There is traffic on the way to work. Will so and so be working today? I hope not. Oh great! They are!

     A hundred things bid for my attention. I feel anything but clothed in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness or patience. The Holy Spirit prods, “Be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.”

     “Ok”, I calm myself. Take a deep breath and pray, “Thank you for this job. Thank you for my car. Thank you for great colleagues. Thank you…” This helps a bit, but I still feel diluted, the living room enthusiasm long gone.

     The apostle Paul had alot bidding for his attention too, yet it was he who penned Colossians 3.  In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul boasts about his sufferings, “I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashed minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in open sea, I have been constantly on the move…I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face the daily pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?” (2 Cor 11:23-29)

      Paul receives a word from God, (12:9) “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” To which Paul responds, (12:10) “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecution, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

     I know all this to be true. There were several times when in missions, I could have made a list like Paul’s and then testified that God’s strength was most certainly made perfect in my weakness. But what about now? What about when life isn’t all that bad? What about when Satan’s attacks are much more subtle and slip easily under the radar? What then?

     It is in Paul’s second letter to Timothy where I find the answer. Paul opens by telling Timothy how grateful he his for Timothy’s “sincere faith” and encourages him to “fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.” (1:6)

Paul invites Timothy to join him in suffering for the gospel of the amazing message of grace. He urges Timothy to not be ashamed of the gospel and then writes, (1:12) “..Yet I am not ashamed because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.”

     For me, there are three very important words in the above verse: know, convinced and entrusted.

     Yet I am not ashamed because I know whom I have believed:  Paul does not write that he is not ashamed because he knows what he believes, but that he knows whom he has believed.

     and am convinced that he is able to guard:    Paul is convinced: totally sure, won over, certain, confident, persuaded – Because Paul knows Jesus, he has no doubt that He is ‘able to guard’.

      what I have entrusted to him for that day:    Here is the proof that Paul knows Jesus. He has ‘entrusted’ everything to him. God does not take our cares from us, we give them to him.

       With this understanding, I write 2 Tim 1:12 in my own words:

 

“Despite my circumstances, I am not reluctant, nor do I feel guilty, because I regularly spend time with and personally know Jesus, the only one I will place my faith in; and based on what I know of Him, I don’t have a single doubt that He is more than able and willing to keep and protect what I have eagerly handed over to him.”

 

So I write down my paraphrased verse and stick in my pocket. Then I hand Jesus my humdrum life and ask Him to guard my heart. I feel renewed, polished and like I have just put on a thicker plate of armor. Rules for Holy Living, don’t feel like rules I have to follow, they feel like a natural part of my life. Although I am certain tomorrow will bring it’s own distractions and Col 3 will seem beyond my grasp, I can pull out my little piece of paper and eagerly hand it all back to the One I know and trust. 

 

MARCELINE UPDATE

 

Dear friends and family,

please find a new message about the sad news you received earlier.
On tuesday the 3rd, we went to Ft Lauderdale by plane. We arrived late in
the evening.
On wednesday the 4th, we went to the Prinsendam. Chief Engineer Jaap Wisse
explained to us what had happened. We did speak with the doctor involved.

She stated that it was not possible to get Marcelines heart rhythm back to
normal. That night, Marceline passed away at 05:16 am.
After meeting the captain, we went to the medical department, where we have
seen Marcelines body.
The chief engineer showed us the ship, including Marcelines' cabin.
The result of the autopsy which has been carried out, is that she has died
in a natural way.
Her body will be transported to the Netherlands. However, the exact date is
not known yet. Because of this, it is not possible to say when the funeral
will take place.
We hope to fly back to the Netherlands on saturday.

Kind regards,
Family Goedegebuure.

MARCELINE UPDATE

Dear friends and family,

please find a new message about the sad news you received earlier.
On tuesday the 3rd, we went to Ft Lauderdale by plane. We arrived late in
the evening.
On wednesday the 4th, we went to the Prinsendam. Chief Engineer Jaap Wisse
explained to us what had happened. We did speak with the doctor involved.

She stated that it was not possible to get Marcelines heart rhythm back to
normal. That night, Marceline passed away at 05:16 am.
After meeting the captain, we went to the medical department, where we have
seen Marcelines body.
The chief engineer showed us the ship, including Marcelines' cabin.
The result of the autopsy which has been carried out, is that she has died
in a natural way.
Her body will be transported to the Netherlands. However, the exact date is
not known yet. Because of this, it is not possible to say when the funeral
will take place.
We hope to fly back to the Netherlands on saturday.

Kind regards,
Family Goedegebuure.

Marceline Goedegebuure

Dear all,

It is with great sadness that we have heard about the news of the death of Marceline Goedegebuure, a faithful member of our Mercy Ships family.
Pls. see the email below, sent out by her family:

Dear friends and family of Marceline,
We are very sad to inform you that Marceline passed away on Saturday, December 31st. 2005. We were informed by the Holland America Line by the director of human resources. Since November 24 Marceline was sailing as an engineer on the M.S. Prinsendam of the Holland America Line. At the fatal moment the ship was near by the island Dominica (Venezuela). On a certain moment last Saturday, Marceline didn't show up for her duty. Checking her cabin colleagues found her laying on her bed, hardly breathing. All efforts to keep her alive failed. Marceline passed away at 05.16 LT.
The Prinsendam is currently heading to Fort Lauderdale (Florida) and is expected to arrive at Wednesday 4th of January. Further information about probable causes will be investigated there.
On Tuesday the 3rd we will fly by plane to visit the Prinsendam, that is: Piet (father), Lennert (brother), Johanneke (sister) and Madeleine (sister).

With kind regards,

Family Goedegebuure,

Marceline served with Mercy Ships for extended periods of time since completing her DTS on the Anastasis, both as a Deck Officer and as an Engineering Officer on the Anastasis and the Caribbean Mercy, and as a Deck Officer on the Africa Mercy. Many of you will know her from the time here on board. The first attached picture was taken on the bridge of the Anastasis a few years ago. Also many of you will know her from her time on the Caribbean Mercy where she served as chief officer until the time the ship was laid up. Don Golden sent me the second picture of that time when she was leading the mooring team on the bow. These are some of Don’s words: ‘She was in her element, loving the life she had chosen. She was so professional and so protective of her crew, chiding us to be careful, but in a way that was never demeaning, but loving and supportive.’

Beyond her wide ranging technical skills, Marceline brought a sweet and gentle spirit to the shipboard community that expressed itself in care for individual crew members, small group activities and community worship. She will be sorely missed. Marceline reached the age of 28. Despite the sadness we know Marceline safe in the arms of her heavenly Father. Please lift up to the Lord, especially her father and the rest of her family and all those who knew and loved her, during this difficult time of grief.

Jurryan