Choosing Well

I cried on the way home from Walmart last week and that wasn't the only instance of tears. All around it was a difficult week for me. You see, it really hit me that it has been nine years since we left Mercy Ships. Nine years! We'd left with the intention of taking a year out to enjoy being married and living "normal" life before heading back to missions. We never thought that nearly a decade later we would be living in the US.

We haven't been idle and perhaps this makes it all the more difficult. We've pushed and trusted and worked for years to gain the expertise necessary for Helimission. We fully recognize that in the capacity we wish to serve skilled workers are needed, not just willing hands. Even knowing the logical reasons about why we are in the US I still wish that we could sell everything and leave for Africa tomorrow.

Last Sunday we sang a song at church with a verse that goes, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord" Of course this is a truth from scripture straight out of Isaiah 40. As we sang I was struck by how weak I felt. I prayed, "I've been waiting on you Lord, but this has been more of an opportunity for weakness and discouragement than strength!" I know that learning to wait is also part of preparation for missions. I think about how difficult it can be sometimes to keep from being discouraged and then feel ashamed because in reality training is much easier than actually being on the field.

I know that I have a choice. When doubts rise and I begin to feel as though we will never actually make it to the field I can choose to be discouraged or I can choose to wait on the Lord. I can choose weakness or I can choose strength. I want to choose well because I know that in the capacity we wish to serve strong workers are needed, not just skilled hands. 

Isaiah 40:28-31
Have you not known?Have you not heard?The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles,They shall run and not be weary,They shall walk and not faint.